Yesterday I did something I have been wanting to do since I started this job last August. I haven’t done it because I felt it was selfish and unfair of me to even suggest but I finally requested that we give it a try. I am so glad I did because I think it is the start of something really good for me.
I went straight from work to the gym.
I know, what’s the big deal? For me it is a big deal. I hate being away from home all day and I rush out the door at the tick of 5:00 to get to my family. I know by the time I roll in at 5:30 Will is spent and ready for some down time and I get that – that was my life for 4.5 years. I finally asked if he would mind me getting a short workout in after work and he is so focused on my wellbeing he didn’t even bat an eye. It feels so good to have someone who does everything he can to put me first. I got to the gym around 5:30, changed out of my heels and hopped on the treadmill (and bonus, Friends is on at 5:30!).
I got a pretty good run in then stopped at the market next door to grab something for dinner and was home by 6:15. The girls didn’t even notice the extra time I was gone and when I got home I was actually fun to be around. The girls were feeding off my post workout high and their normally horrifying pre bedtime behavior gave way to my sweet girls. If I keep this up I will spend less time with them but the time we do spend together will be much better. It’s quality of quantity right?
I do have to be careful about this. Some days are really hard for Will to just function and he’s not always forthcoming about the head days. It’s so weird the way his TBI sneaks its way into every little bit of our lives. Bad head days are no joke and I am always on the lookout for signs that he’s hurting, those days he comes first, always.
But bottom line is that I took some time out for myself, to do what I thought to be super selfish but it turned out to be really good for me as a mom. Here’s hoping this can keep up because I miss running and working out but doing it after 8PM just wasn’t happening.