Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Our New Place

We've been in our new house for about 3 weeks - it seems longer.  The move was pretty easy, how can it not be when the army hires three strong men to do all the heavy lifting?  The hard part is fitting everything from a 1700sf house to an 1100sf 2 story duplex.  I am making it work, finally getting rid of all the baby stuff will help.

We decided to double up the girls so we can have an office type room (read: a room where Will can play his xBox) which I am fine with, they have a really big bedroom and it seems to be going pretty well.  I do think TC misses having a space that is just hers but I shared a room my whole life and survived.

The only moving day drama was that our queen sized box spring couldn't fit up the windy stairs in this 1920s house.  There was no way to get it in short of cutting it.  For the past three weeks it's been a mattress on the floor, or as I like to call it a "crack mattress".  Luckily we don't have a bedroom set that would be wasted so we got a bed frame that doesn't need a box spring, it's pretty fantastic.  It arrived yesterday an it was nice to not wake up on the floor.

There are still several boxes that need to be unpacked, the "oh shit, where are we going to put this crap" boxes but other than that we are setting in.  I hung pictures on the walls and it's rather cozy. 

I thought there would be a chance that maybe the new house would fix everything - we're home, we're out of our friends' basement, we're out of the army - but no.  He has been kinder to me, no recent outbursts to speak of but I am just waiting.  There are still the little things that are beyond frustrating, from the digs at me that kill my self esteem to his total lack of helping around the house.  He did not unpack one box, not one.  He's home all day but refuses to help with any house keeping and complains about what I do (or don't do).   I did hope things would change but at this point I am thinking that the ship has sailed.  I have checked out.

There are so many things that I don't share here, believe it or not I do keep somethings to myself, but it's so much more than trivial things that are killing this marriage.  I felt like such a fraud hanging up pictures of a smiling family when inside I haven't ever been so unhappy.

I would like to think that 2014 will make up for 2013 but I have a feeling that it's going to be the hardest year yet. 


  1. Hugs lady...Hoping you get some peace in 2014, however that comes.

  2. Sending warmest wishes. May 2014 bring peace, encouragement, healing, and plenty of friends in your new community.

  3. Congrats on the new house but I am sorry that the change of scenery has not made much of a change to your relationship. I hope things get better. Hugs